| Well well. Things have spiraled out of control in several areas of this situation I find myself in. The comments I made today were in complete observance of the outside-of-these-four-walls-silence-agreement. In no way did I break this integrity. Yet, people, I fear, are going to great lengths to sow dissention and mistrust between the person I spoke about and myself (not to mention the cosmic glue of the group). Unwarrented attacks on my firm scientific stance on certain situations (which is, of course warranted, given the outragous claims ((http://amightywind.com/hell/aboutsounds.htm)) that I question) is not only irritating, but the act itself was laced subtly with hostility. I'm sick of not being taken seriously. By anyone. I'm used to that by now. What sets me off now is the condescending answers people give me ("I've been studying this for years now, so trust me", or "No, no, no, you've got it compleatly backwards...") if they do even pay attention to what I have to say. So, with that said, I'm going to shut my mouth now from now on unless formally asked a question on a topic (I wouldn't want to step on some expert's dick, and I'm certainly sick of the cock-waving that ensues for five minutes after the comment or question is registered, which seems to imply that I'm somehow below someone because they have an overbearing demeanor and wont let someone get a comment in on edgewise).
Dont even get me started on the megalomania. Either this guy is someone to truly be reckoned with (which is doubtful, considering the pitiful visage he has been cursed into being) or compleatly off his rocker.
Anyway, that being said, today was suprisingly shitty. Started out so so, partly because nothing happened but me watching possible rides home leave and not return for hours, and partly because I didn't do anything at my house but clean my stepdad's car (gratifying work, but short lived) and shower. The whole time that I've been here, I've neglected family over friends. My real house is like a hotel, a place to sleep and store things. And frankly, that I've done that to my Mom and Stepdad sickens me, for I used to be in disgust of those who neglected family. Still am, I should say, which inherently means I'm disgusted with myself. The day moved down from there, for when I arrived at my g/f's house, things went... turbulently. Not a good way to start a evening. I get to the group to have a chat, and am greeted with a nice unwarranted brow-beating which instigated the whole supposed breaking of trust incident I addressed at the beginning of the post. Afterwards, I went to Auggie's house, where the megalomania incident occured, which can only be described in the words of ZIM.. "Its madness!"
Plus I'm going on 48 hours of conciousness with only four or so hours of sleep. I hope the rest of this long, bizzare day turns out well, for I'm definatly not going to sleep now that it's twenty to six in the morning. Pull for me here folks, cause' the cards haven't been dealt my way this time.
Long live Kif (I hope)
Pook.
P.S. I know most of you dont even know what the hell I'm talking about, but I had to vent this before I tried to get on with the day. |
